Bare Facts Revealed: A Look at Uncensored Realities
Loose in the 22nd: A Day by the Danube in Vienna's Unconventional Corner
Ever explored Vienna's 22nd district? Until recently, I was as clueless as a clam. A balmy, sun-soaked Sunday applied the perfect pressure to introduce my four-legged companions to the riveting world unfolding along the stunning blue expanse of the New Danube, a swift ten-minute subway ride from the city heart.
11:17 AM. I'm treading a moderate slope toward the shoreline. A fella: "You headin' there? Got a thing for canoodlin' with the blokes, yeah?" I'm curious about the rules, but the considerate gentleman breaks the ice with a concise explanation: "I've been coming here for Three Decades. But a nudist, that's only allowed in Lobau, right?"
Uncertainty melted away, I give the raw scene a brief glance (topless is the term that pops into mind, though politically incorrect). "Nah...I reckon no official FKK beach here," I shrug. "But ain't we got enough problems in this country anyway?" "Preach it!" he echoes with a chuckle, and I carry on.
Is it the nectar of Vienna and the boonies meets at the crossroads?## Canines and cloudy days
11:43 AM. I scoot my towel beneath the sun and catch a breather. Two lasses with a chonky puppy stroll by. The eager canine drops a load beside me, while one quips to the other: "May's as useless as old tits!'! 'Tis June," grumbles the other. "Well, then June's as useless as old tits too, mate!" the first snaps.
The heaps of excrement and dirt stains didn't go unnoticed, and I lighten the mood with a retort: "But ain't we got enough problems in this land?" Laughter rings loud and clear, as a young family confuses my pooches for exotic breeds, remarking that their antlered Aunt's Fifi bears a striking resemblance. I let the mystery linger.
12:23 PM. A tipsy couple, he in a tuxedo, she in a fishnet shirt and micro-miniskirt, teeter unsteadily along the path. "Why so formal?" I inquire, directed at him. "That way, I got me a pick-up line," the miniskirt quips, regaling me with half-baked scenarios akin to the one at 11:17 AM. The fate of my future visits is sealed - the tolerant nook of the world's most livable city will see me again and again.
The Wordsmith:
Angelika Niedetzky, an actress and cabaret artist, is currently touring Austria with her fifth solo program "The Most Beautiful Day" alongside the Comedy Shepherds.
Footnote:
The celebrated public beach, Gänsehäufel, located in Vienna's 22nd district on the Old Danube, While a well-liked leisure spot with extensive swimming facilities[2][1], it is not primarily designated as a nudist or FKK area. Gänsehäufel features cabins, sports, and playgrounds, with some naturist swimming occasionally observed, but it doesn’t advertise a dedicated FKK zone.
For designated nudist or clothing-optional zones in Vienna, the southern part of Donauinsel, the artificial island on the Danube, is widely recognized[3][1]. This area boasts "FKK" signage and an informal, relaxed nude zone. While Donauinsel's official nude area is further south, it's easily accessible from the 22nd district and other parts of Vienna, making it a snap to reach from the 22nd district.
- The 22nd district seems to be a unique mix of city and countryside, offering both outdoor-living and home-and-garden aesthetics, as evidenced by Angelika Niedetzky's tour of Austria's unexplored corners.
- Despite the unexpected outdoor-living encounters, such as the nudist beach discussion at 11:17 AM, the lifestyle in Vienna's 22nd district seems to embrace a diverse range of individuals, from weekend travelers to permanent residents seeking entertainment.
- As entertainment options continue to grow in the 22nd district, one can also find unconventional elements, such as the tipsy couple in formal attire at 12:23 PM, adding to the entertainment landscape of this burgeoning area.
